How CHD has affected my relationships.

This is coming from a Blog Event over at Stefanie's blog.
She asked her readers this question and so I think I need to respond to it!

My relationship with my husband, John, has grown in ways I never new were possible. When Lorelei was flown to MUSC that Sunday night, I knew that this was a make it or break it point in our marriage and we talked about it, since we couldn't sleep. He held me as I cried for hours about Lo. We struggle day to day like all couples but we agree to do what's best for Lo and our marriage. We try to communicate with each other and of course sometimes it's hard. We knew that this would be hard on us and we agreed to go with it and you know what, it has made us stronger as a couple and as parents. Of course, we argue I am a fly off the handle kind of girl but he has the patience and yes sometimes its an all out screaming fest but we ALWAYS work it out.

My relationship with my family, well that might be a different story. Everyone came together when Lorelei's diagnosis was made and I became tremendously closer to my in-laws. My sister, JD, couldn't come down from NY to be here with us but helped us by giving updates to friends and family up there and even collected money for us. She had just had a healthy baby boy so she was worried and tried to help as best as she could. Others in my family were there for us too but now some still don't get how serious it is. Lorelei has had 2 surgeries and there is always a possibility of another.

Friends, that is a hard one. I knew some people would not be there down the road, especially when I called one of my good friends when we got her diagnosis and she didn't even ask us how we were, she started talking about another friend who just had a baby! I was so furious and haven't spoken to her since. However, I have seen people I grew up with be there for me and those friends who I hadn't spoken too in a long time I have become close with again! I am also blessed to have met many Heart Moms that I get to call my friends (stay tuned for another post about them).

God, I have found Him. Before Lorelei, I believed in Him but didn't live it. I have now seen what He can do and I have become Catholic. I know I swore that I would never do it and not many people know that I have changed. I feel that John and I needed to be on the same page with this since He has a plan for my Lo, I just know it!

My relationship with myself has been a struggle. I keep asking myself what I did that made Lo's heart the way it is and I feel like it's my fault but I am getting better about this. I am starting to lean on the Lord and know that this was His plan all along! I was even jealous of my sister and my friends that have had children for having a healthy, "normal" babies, but I now know that life is too short and too enjoy my "normal" to me child.

John and I treat Lorelei like she is any other child. She gets punished when she does something wrong, she can do whatever she wants to do, within reason! She knows when she needs to stop and rest. We talk about her "zipper" and when she understands a little better we will always tell her the truth and treat her like she is normal, which she is to us!